Up The Farway Tree

Chicken Soup for the Soul

I spent this morning making chicken soup (with stock made from an actual chicken no less).. and it really is good for the soul. Not the chicken soup itself (although it was rather heart warming), but the ability to do something constructive and useful with my time, with the added bonus of creating simple lunch solutions I can freeze for those times when all I can find in the cupboard are savoury mince pies and chocolate digestives. The fact I knew how to make chicken soup is a direct result of mum' s frequent visits during which she attempts to mould me into a mini-me. Worryingly it would appear that she is succeeding.

On a serious note though, I have discovered, not surprisingly, that doing at least one constructive thing a day on the days when I'm not at work is indeed good for the soul, and more importantly, is necessary for a healthy mind. Everyone at some stage dreams of a days rest, tucked up on the sofa watching day time TV, but when this becomes your reality it can fast become your nightmare. There is nothing quite so depressing as wondering where your day has gone, then realising you have in fact dedicated it to Trisha, Phil and Fern...and are now recounting stories from your marathon viewing to anyone who cares to listen. As much as it is important to takes thing easy at times, it is also important to achieve the balance between activities that give you pleasure and those that give you a sense of achievement. In fact pleasurable activities become even more so, when you have also completed a more accomplished task (for example, sitting down to enjoy a cup of coffee and some trashy TV after completing the housework is so much more satisfying).

Unfortunately the problem is that with declining health it can become more difficult to complete any tasks, and indeed I have found that day to day achievement based ones generally seem to be more physical e.g cleaning, shopping, cooking, running errands. In this instance it is important that I recognise my limitations (hence my mum visiting so often and taking on my errand running, dog walking, cleaning lady post), but it is also important that I don't simply sit back adopt the sick role, throw my hands in the air and my towel in the ring. Quite frankly, I am still completely capable of throwing the towel in the washing machine instead. The other difficulty with CF in particular is the fluctuation in health and hence fluctuation in ability. I can go from being able to take the dog for 10-15 minute walks and managing a short stroll round the shops, to barely being able to tie my own shoelace. Literally. So what I have to be careful of is not always assuming I can't do something because I couldn't yesterday, but vice versa assuming I will be able to do it tomorrow because I could today. So in essence I need to push my self to achieve what I can do today, however small or large an accomplishment it might be, because unfortunately through this journey towards trasplant many of these simple tasks may become much harder, if not near impossible. I also need to retain as much of daily normality as possible to ensure an easier transition post transplant..can you imagine having given up all the most boring accomplished based tasks pre-transplant only to discover you no longer have an excuse to avoid them afterwards? I can't imagine I would be shouting "Oh yay, I now have two new lungs, where is the iron?!" Its not a head transplant I'm having.