Dogs, Squirrels and Birds

Being a bit of a secret bird lover (not so secret now eh) I have been trying to attract different species to my garden with a variety of seeds and nuts to suit all tastes. Last year my bird table was a hive of activity with frequent visits from all the usual garden birds and I was feeling quite pleased with my efforts. This year is a different story however, as I have been invaded by squirrels. An entire community. At first they simply chewed my plastic feeders to get the seeds out so I bought metal 'squirrel resistant' feeders. Then they just pulled the feeders off the hooks and opened the tops, so I tied all the feeders onto the hooks with wire. Now they just spend 24 hours a day hanging upside down taking one seed out at time until they have emptied each feeder. I can't accuse them of being lazy, that much I can say. At one point I saw at least 4 squirrels around the table at the same time - one on the feeder, one on the roof of the bird table, one burying seeds in my flower pots, and the other appeared to be perched on the fence post as a look out. I am concerned by this seemingly well orchestrated effort. Indeed these do not appear to be your average squirrel, and it would not really surprise me if I came downstairs one morning to find one munching on my breakfast cereal (from a bowl, using a spoon)



So how am I going to overcome this problem? I am really not sure. I have tried putting chilli powder on the bird seed (this is a RSPB recommendation, not a random thought I had one day). Apparently birds don't have the receptors for spice, but squirrels do and they don't like it. Well that's the theory. I first tried it a few months ago, and I was lucky enough to witness the first squirrel to sample my chilli seed mix. He tried one seed. Nothing. He tried a second. Momentary pause. He tried a third. Eyes open rather wide, small furry paw starts rubbing at mouth, then he starts vigorously rubbing mouth on bird table, before finally scuttling up the garden with tail between his legs. I felt really guilty. I shouldn't have though, because before long, my furry little friends appeared to have developed a taste for the spicy fair and after the initial distaste, they decided that washed down with a naan bread or two, it really wasn't so bad. In fact they seem to quite like it. Following this I tried the method of letting Seb into the garden whenever I saw one. Needless to say Seb enjoyed this immensely but unfortunately he was outwitted by these furry rodents at every opportunity. After some initial concern, the squirrels realised he was all bark and no bite, and became rather nonchalant about the whole thing. They will run half way up the garden at high speed before suddenly stopping and standing absolutely still. Seb will continue past them at full tilt to the bottom of the garden, unaware that the chase is over. The squirrels will then nip across the garden and over the hedge, leaving Seb standing bewildered and confused by the magic vanishing creatures. I am now toying with the idea of a squirrel feeder, as it may at least keep them off the bird table. Andrew suggested a suitable alternative would be an air gun. My love for all animals has yet to rub off on him.

Since I am on an animal story telling roll, I will just finish with a Seb observation. I am not sure that all dogs are as huffy as Seb is - comments are welcome. After the initial 24 hour cold shoulder he likes to give me when I have been on holiday, Seb appeared to have forgiven me. That was until I refused to play with him yesterday, having just got back from work and not feeling too great. After this rebuff, he padded about the house looking for something to bother me with. He first tried pulling a box of chocolates off the coffee table, before I promptly moved them. He then wandered into the hall and climbed up onto the sideboard (I am only realising how weird this is when I see it in writing). He likes to do this to see if anyone will come and tell him to get off. I just ignored him. Fortunately he just climbed back down, unlike the last time when he decided to knock over the wooden vase that sits there, and noticing that I was watching from the living room, defiantly push it off the unit with both paws, and then casually watch as it rolled across the floor. Anyway, having climbed down from the unit, he then came back into the room and lay at my feet -bottom facing me and head looking away. He refused to look round when I said his name. Ignoring him once again, he sighed loudly several times before going upstairs and sticking his head through the bannisters and sitting motionless in this position for at least 15 minutes. He finally gave up with the attention seeking behaviours and went to his bed, although this was in a contorted position so he could remain facing the kitchen door, in order to present anyone that entered with his forlorn look. I have no idea where he learnt this kind of behaviour. Certainly not from me.



A much younger Seb - but gives you the idea of his 'forlorn' look

Holidays (and related incidents)

The gap in blogging was due to me being away for a few days holiday this week, and being busy with work and birthday celebrations last week. Jayne suggested I may just have been taking time off to 'diva about a bit'. I was going to strongly deny this accusation, but it would be a lie. My birthday was spent choosing an outfit for the award ceremony, and the last few days I must admit were largely spent dragging Andrew into every shoe shop we came across to find matching shoes. I now have the outfit, shoes and accessories, so am ready and waiting. All I need to do now is get through this short film malarkey first, which I've heard will be on the 4th May. They will film a short interview and then some cut away shots of me doing something. They confirmed the category I am short listed for is Academia, but I don't think it would be feasible for them to film me at work so the film will have to feature a hobby instead - possibly pretending to paint or the likes.

Anyway, enough talk about the awards. I will tell you about my holiday instead - even more exciting eh? I have had a lovely few days, and it was nice to just get away from everything for while. I was going to say I am nicely rejuvenated, but in reality I am in fact exhausted. Exhausted in a good way though, as I have surprised myself by managing to do quite a bit of sight seeing and a reasonable amount of walking. It was largely at a snails pace, and often with Andrew pushing me from behind, but I did succeed in getting from A to B on my own steam, so I'm sure my physio will give me a shiny gold star when I see her next week.

I won’t bore you with details of my sightseeing and shopping expeditions, but I will just relay a few of the more amusing incidents that always seem to happen when you are away on holiday. Or does that just happen to me?

Check-in
Arrived in our room to discover an ashtray and smell of smoke. Andrew phones reception:

Andrew: Hello, we just checked in and you have allocated us a smoking room. We requested a non smoking room.
Receptionist: No, dis is a no smoking room (European accent)
Andrew: Well there is an ashtray in the room and it smells of smoke
Receptionist: Yees, but it is in new building so is not really a smoking room.
*pause while Andrew tries to understand this statement*
Andrew: Well, as I said there is an ashtray and it smells of smoke, so I would consider that a smoking room.
Receptionist: Yees, but it does not smell strongly of smoke because it is in new building
Andrew: It does if you are a non smoker. Do you not have any non smoking rooms then?
Receptionist: Oh yees, shall I move you?

Swimming pool
Unable to swim these days, I leave Andrew in the pool and go and sit in Jacuzzi. I assume its on timer and sit waiting for the bubbles to start up. I sit waiting for some time before Andrew finally leaves the pool to inform me I need to press the button to start it up. I press button and realise I am too small for the Jacuzzi and the bubbles come over my head. I solve this problem by sitting on the step and dangling my legs in instead - I am sure no one thought this odd behaviour. I leave the Jacuzzi and enter changing rooms. I attempt to tear off one of those plastic bags to put your wet swimming costume in. I am holding towel with one hand, and cannot tear the bag, so give it a good sideways pull with my other hand. The whole roll of bags flies out the holder and unravels across the changing room floor until it is finally stopped by the lockers. I stare at the trail of plastic bags vacantly for a few seconds before hurriedly scooping the roll up and winding the bags round in a haphazard manner before stuffing it back in the holder. A trail of bags is now hanging sideways out the dispenser and most of them are wet from being on the floor. I rip off a few to try and make it look better before hastily leaving the changing rooms before any one sees me.

The Restaurant
I order trout from the dinner menu. Walter (named by us because he looks like Walter from "Ugly Betty") comes over with 2 plates and offers me a chop. I politely tell him I ordered fish. He does a lap of the restaurant, checking the board on his way past, before approaching the table again, laying down the plates and running off without saying anything. I called him back to tell him for the second time that I did not order a chop. The other waitress comes over to apologise - apparently with my Scottish accent, trout sounds just like chop. I must work on my diction.

Satellite Navigation
We drive into York and manage to park right in the centre using sat nav instructions and my disabled badge. We are very pleased with ourselves, and later decide to use it again to navigate to another area of York, as I was too tired to walk. Clearly understanding how tired I was it kindly directed us into the pedestrianised precinct, where we had to drive about helplessly in a square trying to get back out. It was one of those situations where you would like to be swallowed up, but instead have to spend ten minutes looking like total eejits* and trying to pretend you intended to take this route all along.


Well after that rambling blog, I’m off to recover from my holiday and to possibly to just ‘diva around’ for a bit. I might also spend some time learning to walk in the shoes I have bought for the awards. Any further pause in blogging may be due to a broken ankle.


*eejits - for non scottish readers, this means 'idiot'

I received a letter from the CF trust yesterday to inform me that I have been short listed for a Breathing Life Award. The trust organise an award ceremony every year to recognise achievements of people with CF in different areas, such as academia, art, sport or simply succeeding in the face of adversity. All those short listed are invited to the award ceremony in London, where there is a four course meal, entertainment and lots of celebrity attendees. Its even broadcast on the Five Life TV channel!

I was quite excited to hear that I had been short listed, and am looking forward to the award ceremony, however I did somewhat panic to further read that the trust's PR agency will contact me in order to record a short film to be shown on the evening. As much as I can enjoy being the centre of attention as the next person, I really do hate seeing and hearing myself on video. I also have no idea what they will want to film, but I imagine it will embarrass me somewhat. From past experience of doing some newspaper stories to raise CF awareness, it was usually something like "Can you get all your medications out and put them in a huge pile and then sit beside them with a sad look?" or "Could you sit with your nebuliser switched on, looking rather forlorn?" or even worse, "Could you casually sit at the piano and play a melancholy tune while pretending we are not filming?" I am hoping since the short film is not directly for CF awareness, they wont ask to do any of the above or indeed anything embarrassing at all.

I think mum might be more excited about it than me though, as I am allowed two guests so will be taking Andrew and mum. I believe one of the first questions she asked was "Do you know what celebrities will be there? What if I don't know who they are if they talk to me!" I was also amused that she thought Andrew should cut the grass "in case they wanted to film us in the garden." Us?! I thought it was just me that had been short listed?

Awards and TV appearances aside, I am feeling not too bad just now. I ended up just needing some oral antibiotics last week instead of the IV's, so was delighted with that. I have been suffering from really bad sinus problems again though, which is incredibly frustrating to say the least. It sometimes feels as if when my chest is good, there is always something else to drag me down. Hopefully it will clear up in a few days though, and at least I am on the oral antibiotics which should help things along.

I have also been working on another painting for mum - whenever she redecorates a room she invents projects for me. I am not sure whether she is trying to keep me busy, or is just trying to save money. I am quite pleased with the final picture, especially since I went a bit crazy to start with trying to create 'textured effect' which ended up looking like I had artexed the canvas, All's well that ends well though, and I will post the final picture after mum gives it her stamp of approval ( I hope).

I hope everyone has a lovely Easter!