Friday, August 28, 2009

I think I will live..

I will kick of with CF clinic - had all bloods checked and since no one has phoned to say otherwise I am assuming they were all fine. The doctor felt the tiredness was related to my steroid reduction regime - I was on 10mg/5mg on alternate days (and was due to drop to 5mg today) which is an easy programme to follow but can cause problems for some people as there probably is not a steady state of steroid release. So I am now on a regime where I take the same dose daily and drop by 1mg every 2 weeks. I start on 8mg tomorrow and take it from there - by the time I am back at transplant clinic I will be down to 5mg as they expected :-) Otherwise chest sounded fine and I have put on 5kg since I saw them 3 months ago!! This is the heaviest I have been in my entire life (49kg) and gives me a normal BMI of 20. The weight seems to have gone on since I started the gabapentin so I better watch it doesn't run away with me! Also I heard that the MRI of my hip showed mild degeneration but no avascular necrosis (which is what they were worried about). The orthopaedic doc is going to discuss with hip surgeon to see if I need appointment or if it can be left alone and assume this was largely an overuse injury.

Work was so so on wednesday - I had a temporary room to sit in so at least I knew where I was for the day. Quite a few patients didn't turn up and I had forgotten how common (and annoying) this is in general adult psychiatry. Most have to be chased up because I can't just discharge someone who is potentially very ill. I am sure when my clinics fill up (which they are doing fast) I will be praying people don't turn up! I felt better about everything on Thursday once I had gone over a couple of queries with my supervisor. I think I just have that natural anxiety about a new job, but also about the patients I see - most of them are a lot more worrying than I found in old age and I tend to bring that home with me and go over things in my mind about whether I have made the right decisions. I am sure this will settle down with time and I will be able to chill out more.

My friend Lee came over for coffee yesterday so had a good catch up and we took Seb a wee walk. He was hilarious -he refused to walk unless Lee was holding the lead!!! He gets really excited when she comes over but this really was on another level. I mean what other dog actually notices, never mind cares, who is holding the lead?! Weird little thing.

Today I had an appointment with the advisor at the gym who runs the programme my physio referred me to. I explained that I had given up on the gym - initially because of the foot and surgery but then just because I realised I didn't miss it and didn't particularly enjoy it. There are a couple of classes I might try out as I think I would be more motivated if other people are there and also Andrew said he would play badminton with me so I am going to try and book a court for that. I have not played badminton since I left school over 10 years ago so it could be rather interesting!! I do have a racket in the cupboard though, which is a good start and I will try not to pick up any other joint/bone injuries ;-)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

With regards to mentioning tiredness below - after an unexpected 2 hr nap this afternoon I have arranged to go to CF clinic on thurs morning and get bloods checked. Just to be on safe side :-)
This and that..

We had lovely meal on Saturday and the food was excellent! We were both a bit tired though having spent the entire day in the garden. It was the first dry day in weeks so we really had to take advantage and get caught up with the boring tasks of grass cutting and hedge trimming. I did the front grass but did not touch the hedge trimmer - I am way too clumsy for pieces of equipment I need to wave over my head :-) The side part of the garden is finished - chips down, bench moved and flower bed finished, planted and painted. Seb has spent some time in it but has not yet kicked out the bark chips. Wonders will never cease.

I had to go out on my lunch hour to get an MRI scan of my hip yesterday so it was a bit stressful trying to get back in time for the next patient. At least the scan has been done though and we can get an answer on whether there is actually anything to worry about. I think it's been a bit better lately - seeing the physio again next week and she has given me even more exercises to do in the meantime.

Work was a bit better yesterday room wise but I already know there are issues about where my clinic is tomorrow - I am sure it will all settle down in the coming weeks. I am also feeling really quite anxious and stressed just now, examples being; worrying about decisions I make at work, how good my clinical knowledge is and how this new job will work out. This is making everything else seem like a huge hassle just now and I can't really be bothered with all the mundane tasks in life e.g cooking, cleaning, ironing (although I have still done them!) I don't think this is being helped by the fact I feel so tired. Today is a day off and I hardly have any energy to do anything - I have just taken Seb out and all my joints and muscles were aching. I really think this has a lot to do with the reduction in steroids........and next week is another reduction (from 10 mg/5 mg alterate days to 5 mg daily) so I am not looking foward to that! I really want to get down to the lowest dose possible though so have to just get past this stage and eventually will be on an even keel again.

On a more uplifting note, here are some garden photos:


My margiolds just keep growing!



View down the garden standing in corner of patio




New flower bed



Bench next to flower bed (and a banana palm!)


From study window upstairs!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Survived!

I have come to the end of my first week in the new job and I am still alive. Always a good start. I am however exhausted. Obviously the stress of starting something new, more commuting and an earlier start will make me feel a bit more tired, but I think I might be warding off a virus or something because I am so so sleepy. I nearly fell asleep twice sitting in on a clinic yesterday - I kid you not. I was really interested in what the patient was saying and I was trying so hard to concentrate but it was overwhelming. I have been in bed at 10pm all this week and had a good nights sleep but I still feel tired. I will see how it goes over the weekend and if still the same I might get my bloods checked just to make sure everything is ok. Probably just a combination of reducing steroids and starting work - not really good timing!

It was too short notice to get patients booked in for clinic this week but I did do some work for the crisis team which I enjoyed. Things are starting to feel more familiar and I am sure in a few weeks I will be much more settled. The lack of rooms is an ongoing saga - I don't expect it to fully resolve but all I want is somewhere to sit! Not really a major ask ;-)

There was a mix up with the dog walker this week and Seb didn't get his walk when I was at work yesterday. I knew as soon as I came in because he was really really pleased to see me! I asked if they could walk him today instead so that I could try and rest up this afternoon (I only work Thursday morning) so at least I have chilled out a little. I spent some time making cards - mum is going to sell some at a fundraising event she is planning so I am just doing a few every now and then when I get time. I find it relaxing though so it's probably good that I have that to distract me.

Today is my 5th wedding anniversary! I can't believe it has been 5 years but looking back so much has happened in those 5 years that it feels like a lot more. I don't mean that in a bad way - I just think that we have been through more in that short time than many couples go through in a life time. It certainly makes you stronger though and it never fails to amaze me what Andrew can (and has) coped with. We are going out for dinner on Saturday to a lovely restaurant in town to celebrate so that should be a good night. Tonight we are just having some nice food from M+S so that neither of us has to stand cooking all night :-)

I think I have been better at updating my blog but the posts don't seem to be getting any shorter....

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

First day over!

I was too tired to blog last night - all the excitement of changing jobs, the build up etc - I was totally shattered! I did survive though - always a good start.

I arrived nice and prompt, although the journey is rather horrible. It should take 20mins by car but actually takes 40 mins in the morning due to rush hour traffic. It's that start stop traffic that I really hate. Anyway, my consultants secretary (Debbie) was there and was very welcoming. I also knew one of other secretaries as she worked in my old work place before. Debbie showed me round and gave me all the codes for doors etc - I am hopeless with these so have them all written on the back of my name badge! It was a bit chaotic and nothing had really been arranged for me and there was no plan for the coming week. Kind of what I expected. I sat in on my consultants clinics all day and in between I was sorting out a timetable of clinics with Debbie and liaising with the other staff grade (Jamie) about use of rooms. There is basically a distinct lack of rooms so I am sharing with Jamie - but the problem is we both need the room for clinics and crisis team work at the same time! I was running around sorting out when other rooms were free and I think we have it more or less sorted now. I can at least leave my books and some bits and pieces in the shared room which makes by bag a bit lighter. He seems really nice so I am sure we will get on well. I also knew most of the crisis team nurses as I have worked in that area before, so it was so good to see some friendly faces. I am sure I will get to know everyone soon enough and it's my goal to actually remember all the names.

I am back in for a full day tomorrow so Debbie is going to book a clinic for the morning (might as well just get started) and I have some crisis team work in the afternoon. The crisis team basically see people who are heading for hospital admission but this might be prevented by some intervention and support, and they also help people who have recently been discharged from the ward. They don't have a doctor on the team, so the staff grades are going to have sessions they can book for medical review. This is just a new thing starting now so we have to see how it works out.

I am glad I have the first day over and have a better idea of what I am supposed to be doing - and more importantly I know where the kettle is and already have my secret stash of sugar ;-)

I am of course nervous about my first clinic - it is very very different from what I have been doing. I am sure all will be fine!

I will leave you with some amusing photos of Seb - since we moved all the soil he has decided this bench (just moved to that part of garden where soil bag was) is now his...






Friday, August 14, 2009


End of one phase..


So this was my last week at work and I start my new job on Monday.....arghh! I had the last few days as holiday so I could get myself into general adult psychiatry mode. This involved reading guidelines on schizophrenia and bipolar disorder while getting the train into town for shopping. Seemed a fair compromise to me :-) I am really quite nervous and although I know a few people, there are also so many people I don't know and so many new things to learn. It's just that feeling of not quite knowing what's about to happen - I don't even have a timetable set out yet so not sure when clinics are and when I do emergency work etc but I am sure it will all become clear on Monday. I hope.

I had a good time last weekend meeting up with friends from London who were up in Glasgow sorting out some wedding preparation (same friends we met when we went to London). I thought we were heading for a nice meal and maybe a couple of drinks and had duly purchased my return train ticket (last train at 11.30pm). It didn't quite work out like that and we ended up at The Garage which is a big nightclub in Glasgow - not renowned for being a high class establishment. It's where we went almost every Thursday at uni where we danced to cheesy pop whilst dodging broken glass bottles littering the floor and people waving their cigarettes on the dance floor, knowing never to put your arm down on a table or it would be soaked in some unknown drink, and best of all, being literally stuck to the floor at times. We loved the sticky floor! It would seem that health and safety might have caught up with them eventually - the drinks were served in plastic cups, so no more broken glass and staff were going about with mops actually cleaning the not so sticky floor. We all nearly fell off our seats when someone came and actually wiped the table. It was all so wrong. Otherwise however it was all the same...except we are all 10 years older - scary. Myself and Andrew escaped before 2am when games of 'chink and drink' were well under way. I heard they stayed until 3am before sampling the Glasgow chips and cheese. Not sure I want to know much more than that.



Despite the late night Andrew made good progress with the garden and he made the new flower bed from sleepers, shifted the ton of topsoil into it and also moved the whole ton of chips to cover that area. Good work. We now just need to pot some plants into the flower bed and finish repairing the bench before moving it. Nearly finished this years garden phase then.

Seb is sad at the loss of his topsoil bag lookout! He has of course been padding about the new flower bed and kicking up the soil, barking and generally making sure we know it now belongs to him. We are putting weed fabric down so bought some bark to cover it - I am sure this is going to be a mistake and can just see Seb with a tail full of bark! He has been a bit clingy this week (think because I have been away a few times recently). He is still often hiding when it's time for me to leave but I know all his hidey holes now so have to go and find him and put him in the hall. I guess he knows it makes me leave 5 mins later. I was in when the dog walker came the other day and he wouldn't go with her because I was in the house -I think he thought I might leave when he was out. I made him go though and she said he was fine as soon as he got on his walk - wee chancer!

This weekend is my friend Claire's 30th birthday celebration so I am really looking forward to that. It's in Edinburgh so we will go and stay with mum and dad and get the train in. Should be a good night :-)

I keep meaning to try and do shorter but more frequent blog entries - so going by that rule I should update shortly on the new job...

Monday, August 10, 2009

TEAM JAC TOTAL


We have raised a total of £23, 080 through donations, but with gift aid added that takes us to......


£26, 295!!!!


Go Team Jac!



Saturday, August 08, 2009

Just Giving Page closes tomorrow - last chance today!!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Tired

I have been really tired the last couple of days and my limbs feel heavy and achy. I am more or less convinced this is due to the reduction regime for my steroids. Your body gets used to a certain level of steroid and when you reduce that you can feel 'not so good' for a little while. I have experienced this so many times in the past so I know it will eventually pass.

Despite feeling tired I have had a busy week. Last weekend was go go go! We had a friends 30th BBQ on Saturday - unfortunately the weather wasn't great but we did manage to sit outside (me with my North Face jacket on haha). My new drink at the moment is Malibu and fruit juice - I am not allowed fizzy juice after my operation in January so have been trying to find alternatives. We spent the afternoon experimenting with various combination of Malibu, pineapple juice and cranberry juice - all very nice :-) A few friends then stayed over on Saturday and it was great to catch up. On Sunday I headed into town to meet my friend Claire and we had some lunch, some coffee and some shopping. She is entirely responsible for everything I bought.

I had my physio appointment first thing on Monday. She had a look at my hip and found the muscles on that side are much weaker than the other side, so I have some exercises to do which should strengthen that side. The x-ray had not been reported yet so no clear diagnosis yet. She is hopeful it is just an overuse injury (from the walk) and I should be able to work on this. I then had to dash straight to the meeting with occupational health at a different hospital. The meeting lasted all of 2 minutes where she said that since I had been working since February with no issues I was clearly fit for work. So now I am just waiting for official news about the new job and confirmation of start date (which should be 17th August). Would be nice to see a contract also...

Tuesday and Wednesday were really busy at work because I am trying to fit in as many patients as I can before leaving so I can tie up loose ends and leave clear notes about my management plans etc. We also had a team lunch out for me leaving which was really nice - it's definitely one of the best teams I have worked in :-) I will be really sad to leave this job and really hope I enjoy the new one as much as I have enjoyed this one!

So today I am trying to rest up a bit. So far I have made some soup and a card for a friend. I am now trying to work up the energy to take Seb out for a walk. Might need some coffee first....

N.B Just Giving page closes this Sunday so only a few days left to donate!

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Official Live Life Then Give Life Advocate

I have unofficially been doing some work for LLTGL but I am now officially the advocate for Scotland. Essentially my role is just that - to advocate the charity as much as possible. I am not keen on media work involving newspapers - although we did get a fair bit of local coverage regarding the walk. I also recently did the radio interview, and of course, the Team Jac walk has been my main project for a while! I have however been quite proactive this week and contacted two of the big universities in Glasgow about setting up a stall during Freshers week - to raise awareness of organ donor issues and hopefully get some people to sign the register. Unfortunately we would have to pay (£250!) for a stall during Freshers week at one university - however their charity group has very helpfully suggested they can set one up at another time in the union foyer for free and would even help me man the stall. I am just waiting to hear from Glasgow university.

Myself and Emily have also started work on our next booklet which will look at CF and Body Image. At the moment we are brainstorming and collecting ideas from other people with CF and then we will move onto creating an online questionnaire to collect more statistics and information. I have quite a few health professionals from various areas to help with this project so hopefully we can also offer some tips and advice in the booklet. You would be surprised how large a topic this is and how many people are affected. We are looking at issues such as - problems with weight, with perception of weight/size, changes in posture, being small/young looking, having ports/pegs tubes, side effects of medication...and many more topics. If anyone with CF is reading this and would like more information please contact us at cfbodyimageATgooglemailDOTcom.

I have also had some relaxation time in between all that :-) I caught up with a couple of friends which was nice. Yesterday I visited my friend Lucie who has a new baby called Reuben. I made the mistake of taking Seb with me, thinking I had tired him out with a walk. Between Seb padding about poking his nose into everything, jumping on furniture and pawing frantically at the patio doors and poor Reuben being fractious because there was too much going on for him to sleep - we hardly completed a conversation! I think I will leave Seb at home next time! I had a lovely afternoon anyway - I hope I am going to be like one of those pretend aunties to Rueben (although he doesn't have to call me aunty -that would make me sound too old!)

I am going to a friends 30th birthday BBQ today so hoping the weather will hold out - forecast for rain but you can never tell in Scotland. Three of our friends are staying over as they live some distance away so just getting organised for that. Then tomorrow I am meeting two friends for lunch, shopping, coffee then cinema (to see My Sister's Keeper) - so a bit of a mega day out! This will allow Andrew plenty time to clear up ;-)

Finally I will leave you a link to my friend Louise's Just Giving Page. I have mentioned Louise in my blog before - she had a lung transplant last year but had many complications afterwards, so did not really gain much lung function and still has to use her wheelchair to get around. She has also developed a type of cancer that can occur after transplant and has significant heart failure. Despite this she continues to try and fundraise for both Live Life Then Give Life and another charity who supported her when she also battled a childhood cancer. She is planning a 'tree hugging' event where she has to hug a tree for an hour - don't think I could do it!