Sniffle
Having a quiet weekend as I am full of the cold at the moment. Started with a tickly cough last week and now sore throat, sniffles and it's sore to cough. I hate how being immunosuppressed makes everything last twice as long! Ah well, still nothing compared to pre transplant chest infections!
To cheer me up I have booked a holiday for the end of May. We had a week off but I hadn't got round to sorting anything, so yesterday I just bit the bullet. We are going to Sorrento, Italy for 7 days - I can't wait!! People say it's beautiful and it's also a great location for visiting nearby places such as Capri and Pompei. I need to look for travel insurance next but it should be easier this year since it's Europe :-)
It has been lovely sunshine the past few days and it does make you feel so much brighter. Seb is solar powered so he has been full of beans and nonsense. I took him for a walk by the river yesterday and he nearly knocked a cyclist off his bike. The guy was cycling up behind us when Seb turned round, thought he recognised the guy, and ran straight at him! I was very embarrassed but thankfully the guy was amused and even stopped to give Seb a wee pat. He has also been spending a lot more time in the garden and has now discovered a small hole in one of the fence panels. It happened during the build and he hadn't really noticed it until now. Today I spotted him with one eye at the hole peering into the neighbours garden. Then the paw came out and he stuck this in the hole, pulling some more wood of the edges. He then tried to mash his head through but the hole was too small, so he started again with the paw. I have brought him into the house now but will need to do something about the hole before he digs himself out...
Dad finally got the Butterfly Kisses painting through to the Butterfly Trust - on the roof rack! It was too wide to fit in anyone's car, which will teach me not to paint such giant pictures. I think I need to work on some smaller ones. I have been making quite a few cards recently as well - some based on print outs of my paintings, which worked quite well. I will make some for mums auction later in the year, which will also be for the Butterfly Trust.
Hopefully this will be a quiet week at work and I will be back to full speed soon! For now I am just going to lie here in the extension and enjoy the sun coming through the patio doors :-)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
End of a hard week..
Thank goodness it's Friday - this week has felt particularly long! It was busy at work and I had a few very stressful days. It's mostly due to lack of resources, long waiting lists, people's misconception that I can somehow control these lists and also thinking I have a magic tablet I have not been giving them! Psychiatry is such an inexact science and we have a limited armoury with which to treat people. I understand the frustration, and I understand the relatives frustrations...but I am doing my best! The latter part of the week was a bit better though, which helped to redress the balance. I think it was also because I have been feeling really headachey this week - more like migraine type headaches with that sicky feeling. It's hard to concentrate when you feel like that. However it looks like a lovely day today and I can have a chilled weekend so will be back to normal for next week :-)
I want to tell you about two charity things that you might be interested in:
1. My best friend Claire, her sister Jennifer and their mum Margaret are taking part in a 5k for the charity Bosom Buds. This is a local charity, founded by breast cancer sufferers. They support the local cancer unit but one of their main roles is providing real hair wigs for those undergoing chemo therapy for breast cancer. I think this is such an important aspect to care and a great wee charity! You can sponsor their walk HERE.
2. My friend, and fellow Team Glasgow member, Kirsty Geddes has had the opportunity to record the single My Hero. Kirsty sang this at our Masquerade Ball in memory of her donor - the lyrics 'there goes my hero...he's ordinary' are so fitting for all those people who have donated. Ordinary people doing an extraordinary thing. The single costs £3.49 (inc postage) and is well worth it - she is an amazing girl, with an amazing voice. All proceeds will be given to Live Life Then Give Life and The CF Trust. If you would like a copy, let me know and I will pass on the orders :-) You can hear the single on facebook but I will check if there is another way of listening to the song.
Thank goodness it's Friday - this week has felt particularly long! It was busy at work and I had a few very stressful days. It's mostly due to lack of resources, long waiting lists, people's misconception that I can somehow control these lists and also thinking I have a magic tablet I have not been giving them! Psychiatry is such an inexact science and we have a limited armoury with which to treat people. I understand the frustration, and I understand the relatives frustrations...but I am doing my best! The latter part of the week was a bit better though, which helped to redress the balance. I think it was also because I have been feeling really headachey this week - more like migraine type headaches with that sicky feeling. It's hard to concentrate when you feel like that. However it looks like a lovely day today and I can have a chilled weekend so will be back to normal for next week :-)
I want to tell you about two charity things that you might be interested in:
1. My best friend Claire, her sister Jennifer and their mum Margaret are taking part in a 5k for the charity Bosom Buds. This is a local charity, founded by breast cancer sufferers. They support the local cancer unit but one of their main roles is providing real hair wigs for those undergoing chemo therapy for breast cancer. I think this is such an important aspect to care and a great wee charity! You can sponsor their walk HERE.
2. My friend, and fellow Team Glasgow member, Kirsty Geddes has had the opportunity to record the single My Hero. Kirsty sang this at our Masquerade Ball in memory of her donor - the lyrics 'there goes my hero...he's ordinary' are so fitting for all those people who have donated. Ordinary people doing an extraordinary thing. The single costs £3.49 (inc postage) and is well worth it - she is an amazing girl, with an amazing voice. All proceeds will be given to Live Life Then Give Life and The CF Trust. If you would like a copy, let me know and I will pass on the orders :-) You can hear the single on facebook but I will check if there is another way of listening to the song.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Catch Up!
With the 30 day challenge I didn't really post anything about what I have been up to!
The CF and Body Image booklets are about to undergo a 1500 copy print run, with copies then being distributed to CF units in the UK. I think there has been some early interest from the units so it looks very encouraging. I will still like to do some formal research around the eating disorder and CF topic but have very little time at work to fit in research. Hopefully once I no longer have to cover the other resource centre, I will be able to free up a little time and look into this more.
I have also been asked to speak to 4th years at George Eliot private school in Edinburgh about organ donation. Apparently the government has been encouraging schools over the past few years to include this in the curriculum. I don't think it has been widely taken on, but there are specific resources designed for this purpose and George Eliot have been running it for a few years now. I am really just going to talk about my experiences to give organ donation a human face - should be interesting!
We have still been working away on house things, slowly but surely. We have finished painting the living room and finally that room is complete. We are still hardly sitting in it though because using the extension all the time! It does save tidying the rest of the house though...
I will leave you with some amusing Seb photos, to demonstrate that he has been up to his usual carry on:
This was really weird story. Seb had eaten most of his dinner when he lifted one piece of dry dog food and brought it into the middle of the room, where he carefully placed it down. He then turned round and saw Andrew's bag propped against that chair. So with one deft paw swipe, he pushed the bag over and then carefully placed the small piece of dry dog food on top (tiny dot on left front corner). He then returned to his bowl and ate the rest of his dinner and just left that one piece sitting on the bag all night. Now, tell me that's not really weird??!
With the 30 day challenge I didn't really post anything about what I have been up to!
The CF and Body Image booklets are about to undergo a 1500 copy print run, with copies then being distributed to CF units in the UK. I think there has been some early interest from the units so it looks very encouraging. I will still like to do some formal research around the eating disorder and CF topic but have very little time at work to fit in research. Hopefully once I no longer have to cover the other resource centre, I will be able to free up a little time and look into this more.
I have also been asked to speak to 4th years at George Eliot private school in Edinburgh about organ donation. Apparently the government has been encouraging schools over the past few years to include this in the curriculum. I don't think it has been widely taken on, but there are specific resources designed for this purpose and George Eliot have been running it for a few years now. I am really just going to talk about my experiences to give organ donation a human face - should be interesting!
We have still been working away on house things, slowly but surely. We have finished painting the living room and finally that room is complete. We are still hardly sitting in it though because using the extension all the time! It does save tidying the rest of the house though...
I will leave you with some amusing Seb photos, to demonstrate that he has been up to his usual carry on:
Dragged Andrew's bag from the hallway in bid for attention. When he was ignored, just lay down on rug as if just home from a hard day at the office
He was in that basket and I told him to go to his bed in the hall - where he stays when I am at work. I thought he had gone and then realised he had just climbed into the DVD unit instead!
Ordered a new dining table - that's it in the box ready to be built. Seb thinks it's a platform for him to view the garden from.
Next, Seb inspects the new chairs. He doesn't look too sure though...
I was trying to take all the pieces out the box - Seb sees this as an invite to get in the box
Andrew trying to screw the table top in place - Seb getting in the way and licking his nose!
Seb looks pleased with himself. Andrew - not so much!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Painting Auction
Just to remind everyone that bidding closes at 12noon this Sunday (13th) for the Butterfly Kisses painting
Current highest bid is £110 Please let me know if you want to bid before the closing time - email me at weejac.art@gmail.com with bid. If I get two bids the same, I will email both people to offer them a chance to outbid. I will allow 24hrs from closing on Sunday for a response from both people since I don't expect people sitting at their email in anticipation!
If anyone missed this post first time round - I am auctioning this painting (by me) in aid of the Butterfly Trust, a charity which supports people with CF in Scotland.
Just to remind everyone that bidding closes at 12noon this Sunday (13th) for the Butterfly Kisses painting
Current highest bid is £110 Please let me know if you want to bid before the closing time - email me at weejac.art@gmail.com with bid. If I get two bids the same, I will email both people to offer them a chance to outbid. I will allow 24hrs from closing on Sunday for a response from both people since I don't expect people sitting at their email in anticipation!
If anyone missed this post first time round - I am auctioning this painting (by me) in aid of the Butterfly Trust, a charity which supports people with CF in Scotland.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Day 30: Picture of Me
Well this is the last day of the photo challenge and today was simply just a picture of me. I was going to use one where I was all dolled up, maybe even from the recent photo shoot, but then decided that this one probably reflects my personality more than others. That in itself is a worry! This was taken on Christmas morning last year, and yes, that is my pyjamas I am wearing with the panda hat. My father in law still doesn't believe I wear this hat to work and patients have seen me with it on. I think that is totally acceptable?
So, a picture of me - what does this tell you? If I were to describe myself I would use the following words: rather daft, easily amused, kind, enthusiastic, impatient, sometimes quick to anger but equally as quick to get over it, calm in a crisis but can look flustered, especially if drinking double espressos, known to laugh inappropriately during meetings and distract other people, always give 100% to everything I do, can be a drama queen when I feel like it but when things really are bad, tend to keep it to myself. I know my own mind but try to see things from other people's view point - although tend to still believe I am, of course, correct :-) I am very small. I like to feel special (but not in a 'just been let out for the day' way). I like to just be myself :-)
Well this is the last day of the photo challenge and today was simply just a picture of me. I was going to use one where I was all dolled up, maybe even from the recent photo shoot, but then decided that this one probably reflects my personality more than others. That in itself is a worry! This was taken on Christmas morning last year, and yes, that is my pyjamas I am wearing with the panda hat. My father in law still doesn't believe I wear this hat to work and patients have seen me with it on. I think that is totally acceptable?
So, a picture of me - what does this tell you? If I were to describe myself I would use the following words: rather daft, easily amused, kind, enthusiastic, impatient, sometimes quick to anger but equally as quick to get over it, calm in a crisis but can look flustered, especially if drinking double espressos, known to laugh inappropriately during meetings and distract other people, always give 100% to everything I do, can be a drama queen when I feel like it but when things really are bad, tend to keep it to myself. I know my own mind but try to see things from other people's view point - although tend to still believe I am, of course, correct :-) I am very small. I like to feel special (but not in a 'just been let out for the day' way). I like to just be myself :-)
Monday, March 07, 2011
Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile
This is Seb at 5 weeks old. We went to visit the breeder to choose a puppy - the rest of the litter were all brown, there was one parti colour female... and then Seb. He was sitting in the middle of the litter allowing another puppy to chew on his ear. He had the grumpiest little face but once I had a wee hug it was puppy love!
This is Seb at 5 weeks old. We went to visit the breeder to choose a puppy - the rest of the litter were all brown, there was one parti colour female... and then Seb. He was sitting in the middle of the litter allowing another puppy to chew on his ear. He had the grumpiest little face but once I had a wee hug it was puppy love!
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Day 28: A picture of you last year and today with a description of how you've changed
The first picture was taken in April last year when I was in Florida and the picture on the right was at the beginning of this year. Physically I haven't changed much - if this was a just after transplant vs 1 year later photo there would be a noticeable reduction in steroid induced hamster chops! I think there has still been some cheek bone return in the past year. My hair is longer and almost back to pre transplant length. About a year after my transplant my hair started falling out - it was so thin and fragile and all I could do was keep getting it cut until it started growing in thicker again. I would say it's now back to normal :-)
At work I think I have become more confident. Last year I had only been in the staff grade post for 6 months and it was a steep learning curve, having been out of general adult psychiatry for a while. I think my knowledge has increased significantly, as well as developing the way I undertake consultations, react to situations and create a rapport with patients.
Emotionally, the further you get from transplant, the stronger you feel. It starts to seem as if being ill was something in the far and distant past - sometimes feeling like it didn't really happen to me at all. I feel more and more like the 'old Jacqueline' who was happy, carefree and full of nonsense.
In a practical sense I am more settled. The house is really coming together and we have been able to carry out most of our long term plans within the last year. Plans that were always waiting for 'when I am well'. I had my own PBL groups a few times last year, which I really enjoyed. I also became part of Team Glasgow - pouring energy into our ball and this year a Halloween party is on the agenda :-) Through this I have also made two fantastic friends in Victoria and Kirsty.
Overall throughout the past year, I have had that feeling that 'Life is Good!' Can't ask for more than that.
The first picture was taken in April last year when I was in Florida and the picture on the right was at the beginning of this year. Physically I haven't changed much - if this was a just after transplant vs 1 year later photo there would be a noticeable reduction in steroid induced hamster chops! I think there has still been some cheek bone return in the past year. My hair is longer and almost back to pre transplant length. About a year after my transplant my hair started falling out - it was so thin and fragile and all I could do was keep getting it cut until it started growing in thicker again. I would say it's now back to normal :-)
At work I think I have become more confident. Last year I had only been in the staff grade post for 6 months and it was a steep learning curve, having been out of general adult psychiatry for a while. I think my knowledge has increased significantly, as well as developing the way I undertake consultations, react to situations and create a rapport with patients.
Emotionally, the further you get from transplant, the stronger you feel. It starts to seem as if being ill was something in the far and distant past - sometimes feeling like it didn't really happen to me at all. I feel more and more like the 'old Jacqueline' who was happy, carefree and full of nonsense.
In a practical sense I am more settled. The house is really coming together and we have been able to carry out most of our long term plans within the last year. Plans that were always waiting for 'when I am well'. I had my own PBL groups a few times last year, which I really enjoyed. I also became part of Team Glasgow - pouring energy into our ball and this year a Halloween party is on the agenda :-) Through this I have also made two fantastic friends in Victoria and Kirsty.
Overall throughout the past year, I have had that feeling that 'Life is Good!' Can't ask for more than that.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Day 27: A picture of something you are afraid of
The big transplant 'R' - Rejection! It looks rather pretty in this slide but not so pretty in real life. Acute rejection I can deal with - I have had that and a few days of IV steroids soon sorted that. Chronic rejection however is one of my biggest fears. It usually has a slower onset, scarring the lungs and reducing their function - and there are no cures. When I got my transplant I said 'oh if I just get even a year it would be great' then I want 3 years, and 5 years and so on! I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the future and usually work on the most positive and optimistic outcomes. However when I sometimes get a niggle, or a feeling of being breathless or a cough, then my heart sinks and thoughts of rejection (and other complications) rush to the fore. Having been given a taste of this new life, I am not in any rush to return to the restrictions of the past, although I know I would still cope if I did. No one knows what the future holds - post transplant or not - so it does give me that nudge every so often to re-evaluate the important things in life and to remember that, for everyone, it should be about enjoying the here and now, the small moments that make you smile and accepting and moving on from the ones that make you cry. Life is here to be lived and I am doing my hardest to make each moment count.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Day 24: A picture of you with a family member
This is me and my Uncle Hugh. I can't really say much about how mental he really is because I think some of his parishioners read my blog. Oops too late ;-) I am very close to my Uncle Hugh and very much respect his thoughts and opinion. He is also great fun and is often at the centre of family gatherings and has worked hard to create a lively community within his three Parishes. I do worry he might become even more eccentric as he gets older and he likes to tell me that I will have to look after him at this stage. I have of course assured him there is no chance of this happening but that I will visit him in the nursing home on high days and holidays :-) We used to have that 'how much do you love me' conversation when me and Fran were young. It was the 'no, i love you more than the world' 'no, i love you more than the universe'. Frances Ann finally stunned Uncle Hugh into silence (the one and only time I believe) when she said 'well, I love you more than God does!' He knows I love him very much.
This is me and my Uncle Hugh. I can't really say much about how mental he really is because I think some of his parishioners read my blog. Oops too late ;-) I am very close to my Uncle Hugh and very much respect his thoughts and opinion. He is also great fun and is often at the centre of family gatherings and has worked hard to create a lively community within his three Parishes. I do worry he might become even more eccentric as he gets older and he likes to tell me that I will have to look after him at this stage. I have of course assured him there is no chance of this happening but that I will visit him in the nursing home on high days and holidays :-) We used to have that 'how much do you love me' conversation when me and Fran were young. It was the 'no, i love you more than the world' 'no, i love you more than the universe'. Frances Ann finally stunned Uncle Hugh into silence (the one and only time I believe) when she said 'well, I love you more than God does!' He knows I love him very much.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Day 23: A picture of something you crave
Lion bars are amazing! I bought 15 of them on Sunday and have eaten 5 so far, which isn't bad :-) Mum used to always buy me a sweet of my choice to eat in the car coming home from clinic appointments. I always chose a lion bar. It's a classic! I also like the fact there is a lion on the packaging. I like animals.
I also crave home made truffles and flap jack but these involve more effort on my part. It has put me in the mood for baking though...
Lion bars are amazing! I bought 15 of them on Sunday and have eaten 5 so far, which isn't bad :-) Mum used to always buy me a sweet of my choice to eat in the car coming home from clinic appointments. I always chose a lion bar. It's a classic! I also like the fact there is a lion on the packaging. I like animals.
I also crave home made truffles and flap jack but these involve more effort on my part. It has put me in the mood for baking though...
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This is 'wee red man' and 'donkey'. You can see how original I am with naming things - it's actually a surprise Seb isn't called 'dog'. Wee red man belonged to my older sister Claire, and my mum gave it to me as a keepsake when I was a child. It developed into a lucky charm of sorts for me - gave me the feeling I had someone to watch over me. I had it with me during every hospital admission, every school exam, university exams, interviews and in my bag at my wedding!