Up The Farway Tree

Day 27: A picture of something you are afraid of

The big transplant 'R' - Rejection! It looks rather pretty in this slide but not so pretty in real life. Acute rejection I can deal with - I have had that and a few days of IV steroids soon sorted that. Chronic rejection however is one of my biggest fears. It usually has a slower onset, scarring the lungs and reducing their function - and there are no cures. When I got my transplant I said 'oh if I just get even a year it would be great' then I want 3 years, and 5 years and so on! I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the future and usually work on the most positive and optimistic outcomes. However when I sometimes get a niggle, or a feeling of being breathless or a cough, then my heart sinks and thoughts of rejection (and other complications) rush to the fore. Having been given a taste of this new life, I am not in any rush to return to the restrictions of the past, although I know I would still cope if I did. No one knows what the future holds - post transplant or not - so it does give me that nudge every so often to re-evaluate the important things in life and to remember that, for everyone, it should be about enjoying the here and now, the small moments that make you smile and accepting and moving on from the ones that make you cry. Life is here to be lived and I am doing my hardest to make each moment count.