Up The Farway Tree

Returning to work and driving hazards

Well this is my last week signed off before I go back to work and I am already feeling anxious about returning. I thought all this lounging about the house would give me far too much time to dwell on how I was feeling and make me overly focused on CF, with my daily routine involving an analysis of symptoms and what they might mean. Interestingly quite the opposite has occurred. Not having the pressure of going to work has made me much less focused on how I feel on a day to day basis, and much more able to just take things as they come. When I'm working, I am much more stressed when I have an 'off' day because I then have to decide whether I am just tired, a bit run down, have an infection brewing, or am just having 'one of those days' that the rest of the non CF population are also susceptible to. I then have mini battles in my mind over going to work, not going to work, seeing how I feel in the morning, seeing how I feel when I get to work, phoning the hospital, not phoning the hospital. These internal conversations with myself can go on for some time, and tend to eat into more useful activities, like watching TV and relaxing, or more importantly, sleeping. The most likely conclusion to these events is that I phone mum and ask her, because clearly she has the answer to everything.

Anyway, despite my anxieties I am looking forward to going back to work. I do really enjoy it when I am well, but unfortunately even my little 4 hour shifts can feel like an eternity when I don't feel so well. However I have now had my hours changed to start at 10am, which should be much easier, and I have also have vowed to actually stay off work when I am unwell regardless of whether this happens the same week I go back. Now I hope someone will remind me off this the next time I ignore my own advice.

For some comedy value I thought I might mention the incident at the traffic lights the other day. Andrew had been driving my car, and being a good foot taller than me, he has to adjust the seat fairly drastically. So I got into car and put the seat back up, pulled it forward and put the steering wheel back into position. I didn't get off to a good start, as I was wearing my big boots, which although sensible and flat have grips in the shape of a large rubber foot print (you have to see it to know what I mean, but rest assured they are not the best footwear for driving). I more or less shot out the driveway at high speed, in a jolty fashion... you know the way when you can't feel either the clutch or the accelerator through your shoes, so just have to hazard a guess at clutch control. By the end of the road, I was getting the feel for things, but now felt a little to close to the steering wheel so decided at the next set of traffic lights I would move my seat back. I got to the next set of lights and went to move the seat back a notch. I didn't move back a notch...I FLEW back at high speed as far as the seat would allow. Obviously being a midget, I could not longer reach the pedals, so my feet shot off both the accelerator and clutch, causing the car to simultaneously stall and roll forward at the same time. I managed to grab the handbrake and at least stop the car moving, but was practically sitting in the back seat, and pinned in this position by the seatbelt. It was to be expected that the lights would now change to green. Fortunately the cars behind did not toot at me...I am not sure if they perhaps saw my started and slightly horrified expression in the mirror, or whether they thought I had just gone crazy and felt it safer to just leave me well alone. I did eventually manage to haul myself forwards by holding onto the steering wheel with one hand, and operating the seat lever with the other. Then feeling slightly startled and still wearing my big boots, I shot of round the corner with an excessive revving of the engine. Moral of this story is: never wear big boots with comedy grips when driving, and small people should never adjust position of a car seat unless parked in driveway or similar.