Sunday, December 17, 2006

Christmas Traditions: Old and New

Christmas is a time of wonderment and enchantment; the season of glittering Christmas trees, twinkling fairy lights and beautifully wrapped gifts that rouse a sense of excitement and intrigue. Yet, paradoxically it is also a time of reflection and contemplation, where emotions can be at odds with one another; joy and excitement suddenly and unexpectedly giving way to a sense of sadness. It is a time of year when the loss of loved ones becomes painfully clear and old emotional wounds can begin to ache. Traditions slowly evolve to encompass the changes loss can bring upon family dynamics and with time everyone gradually learns to accept and adapt.

These thoughts crept into my consciousness last weekend when I was decorating the Christmas tree. I bring back decorations from all my holidays as a souvenir, so decorating the tree is like flicking through an old photo album. There are glittery baubles from New York, where I got engaged, a bright yellow duck from Boston where I completed a 4 week elective at university, small tartan (!) clad reindeer's I bought when Frances Ann and I went on a shopping weekend for her 18th birthday, a glass angel from Rome, which was the last holiday abroad I went on before being listed for transplant. Memories from over the years flashed through my mind, and filled me with a sense of accomplishment with where my life has taken me. Yet it also reminds me of how much living I still want to do, and how much I have to lose if I do not get a transplant. I then came across the angel decoration in the photograph, which is a little wind chime that Frances Ann bought me the Christmas before she died. I treasure this dearly and it takes pride of place on the tree. After the initial bubbling of emotion settles, I can look at the tree every day and in seeing the angel, I have a reminder of my beautiful sister and each Christmas we shared together.



So, yes traditions will evolve and people will adapt, but memories from over the years will never fade. Christmas may be a time for reflection and reminiscing, however it need not be a time for mourning. Memories should be a source of laughter and, as a family, we should embrace Christmas with the love and joy we have always known, and not feel at all guilty for enjoying the celebration. I know that Frances Ann is with us is in spirit and mind, and she will look on with a smile and a nod of approval. After all, I still have many more Christmas days to celebrate, and many more decorations to collect, so I intend to approach the season as I always do - with the attitude and mentality of a 5 year old.

p.s only 8 more sleeps

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you

Fi said...

Jac, that was lovely to read, sad but upbeat at the same time. Here's to many more Christmases with happy memories :) Have a good time with your family and of course Seb.
Fi
xxx

Anonymous said...

Jacqueline,
It's Santa here. Sorry to bother you but I need to talk to you about the list you sent me. I'm a bit concerned about the following items you requested. Please note my comments.

a) Slippers made from real rabbits - Sorry this is not ethical you will have to accept the artificial ones.
b) Step ladder to kiss my husband - Do you need the 6 foot ladder or the 9 foot ones....please advise.
c) Ear plugs when I am listening to my mum....I take it you mean noise cancellation head phones....No problem....I will mark this URGENT.
d) Automatic Ironing System - Sorry this has not been invented yet.
e) Truffle Making machine - Do you want the deluxe version?

The rest of the queries I will send to your private e-mail address as they are too embarrassing to publish on this public web-site...(Your Welcome)

Anyway better go as I need to reply to a letter from your dad....something about a new wig and a muscle building kit????

Anyway.... bye bye for now

Lots of love from
Santa xxx

Jayne said...

Hello Jac, I agree with Fi. What a beautiful post. I really hope that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

We count down in 'sleeps' as well.

Plus I hope that Santa brings everything in your list above. Shame about the automatic ironing thingie though.

Take good care

Jayne xxx

Nicola said...

That was a really lovely post,it made me a little emotional because I have the very same type of angel that sits in my room all year long.Silly,but I like to think of it as my little guardian angel.

I'm sure your sister would be very proud of what you have written.Have a wonderful Christmas,and give Seb a wee Christmas kiss from me x.

Oh thanks for the card!

Nicola xxx.

Tinypoppet said...

Really gorgeous post Jac, you write so well....and that little angel is just beautiful. A thousand higs. xx

Emmie said...

Beautiful. Really beautiful. And a priviledge to read. Thank you xxxxx

CB said...

Lovely post - I find it difficult to say much more, but I think there's nothing much more that needs to be said. Beautiful :)

C-x-x-x-x