Up The Farway Tree

Shake those Giant Electric Bootees





I haven't really blogged any health updates for a while, although you can generally assume this is a good sign. I have been IV antibiotic free for 5 weeks, and oral antibiotic free for 3 weeks. Weight, lung function and oxygen levels are all much the same as before Christmas. I don't expect much shift on the latter two, and am happy just for 'stable' but would still like some increase in my weight. My appetite has taken a tumble in the past two weeks, largely due to flair up of sinusitis which, as well as causing intense facial pain and pressure, has the unfortunate side effect of removing my ability to taste. Sinus problems are common in CF, and I've lost count of the number of times I have had surgery to try and alleviate chronic symptoms. The benefits are usually fairly short lived, but sometimes its just gets to that stage where you can't take any more. At the moment I feel I have tried everything - daily saline nasal washes (by the way, this is an ENT recommended practice, not some voodoo thing I picked up on the internet), steroid nasal sprays, decongestant tablets, painkillers of every variety known to man, cold compresses, hot compresses, massaging my face, massaging my head, steam inhalations. I even bought some herbal remedy which tastes disgusting, so logically must be doing something good. Is that not how these things work?! The frustrating thing is that I know even if surgery would help, I would not be considered fit enough for a general anaesthetic, for what is ultimately non-essential procedure. I'm not sure whether this surgery can be done under local anaesthetic but I would be willing to try anything at this stage. Now I have got that off my chest, I'm sure this will just be an acute flair up, things will return to their grumbling baseline soon, and all will be forgotten by my next blog entry.

On an entirely different, and less woeful note, I was at one of those fancy spa's last week. I had gift vouchers to spend, and being unsure what treatments would be suitable, I had booked a 2 hour slot where the therapist decides on treatments best suited to your needs. Apparently I needed my feet encased in paraffin wax and my face required 20 products to be applied in quick succession. You learn something new everyday. The foot therapy started with a 'foot spa' which was essentially a fancy way of saying they needed to dunk your feet in some warm water to make sure they were clean before anyone touched them. Fair enough I say. After this I had to relax on the couch while the therapist did unmentionable things to my feet. I suspect one of these was to remove my cuticles, but it did in fact feel more akin to having surgery for an ingrown toenail. As I was lying there in the darkened room with my eyes closed, listening to whale music and wincing in pain, I did consider why it is socially acceptable for someone to inflict pain on you just because it is under the guise of a 'treatment' or 'therapy'. I believe a form of Japanese torture is to insert bamboo sticks under the nails. Are you seeing any similarities here?

After the initial pain, the process moved in an entirely surprising direction. Having buffed, polished and filed my toenails to perfection, she then encased my feet in paraffin wax, wrapped them in (what felt like) plastic bags and then popped my feet into giant, plastic, electric heated slippers. She then left me, plugged into the wall socket, for 10 minutes. I was momentarily concerned about the fact I was plugged in, but thinking back to science class, I don't think paraffin wax conducts electricity. Having reassured myself that I was not about to be electrocuted, I then took a fit of the giggles at the absurdity of my position (fortunately therapist was out of the room during this outburst). People everywhere in the world are going about their daily business, commuting to work, earning money to pay the next bill and generally worrying about life's stresses.... and there I am lying in a darkened room in my pants, draped in a towel and sporting the worlds largest electric booties. What is the world coming to?

The facial component was somewhat less bizarre, although I am not entirely sure if all the products applied to my face (and then washed off, I might add) were strictly necessary. I was also slightly worried about coughing in the therapists face, as she had wrapped me up like a mummy in the towels, so I couldn't even lift my hand to cover my mouth. I therefore attempted to cough with my mouth closed. This is a fascinating and very useful skill, which I hope to develop. The facial then ended with a wonderful neck, shoulder and head massage, which I would gladly experienced for the entire 2 hours. However I suppose if that had happened, I would then have missed all that earlier fun with the torture and the bootees. We couldn't have that, could we.