Up The Farway Tree

Work, life and two-part TV programmes

I've sorted out my days at work, so from next week I will have a Wednesday off again, and instead work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday morning. Hopefully the day mid-week will make a difference to my current energy levels, which are pretty poor at best. I'm finding that I just come in from work at lunch time, collapse on the sofa and barely move from this position for the rest of the day. Logically you could say that I would be best not to work at all and then I could do other things with my day, but in reality I would probably lounge around, watch some TV, and if I was really pushing the boat out, go outside and fill my bird feeders. At least if I go to work I have instead:

a) Got up at a reasonable time
b) Dressed in something other than jeans, which is good for general well being (medical fact)
c) Spoken to real people i.e not Seb
d) Had some exercise, even if this is just walking to my car
e) Earned some money
f) Continued to further my career and expand my knowledge
g) Hopefully helped someone
h) Avoided recording and spending afternoon watching the first half of a two part crime thriller, without realising it was a 2 parter until watching to the end of the first part. Having not recorded the second part, I will now never know who the murderer is. Had I been at work, this disaster may never have occurred.

That seems like a lot of reasons to go to work actually, with (h) being a particularly compelling argument. I am so fortunate that my work place has accommodated and supported me at every turn, and I realise that without this flexibility I would have been forced to stop working a long time ago. I see other people with CF really struggling to get a foothold on a job, or to maintain a working life that fits in with treatments, hospital visits and the unpredictability of health from one day to the next, and I feel grateful for what I have. CF makes life difficult in many ways, but for me one of the worst is this dichotomy of mind and body; the mind is active, willing and ready to take on the world, yet the body simply cannot keep up. This is why it is so important for me to try and maintain an outlet for my mind, for a restless mind does not make for a healthy body. There is clearly a balance, and the line is unfortunately so thin I could be accused of failing to see it at times. However at the moment, despite my extreme tiredness, my weight is staying up, my lung function is stable and its now 4 weeks since my last IV's. Having a sense of daily purpose makes me even more diligent with treatments, keeps me more active and more importantly, prevents me from hearing the tick -tock of the transplant clock. I may be tired, but at least I know it's a tiredness from doing something, and not the tiredness that comes from the boredom of doing nothing. Despite all this, I know this is an area of my life that needs continual evaluation and adjustment and eventually I may have to find mental stimulation elsewhere, but while the list of pros outweighs the cons, its onwards and upwards. Or at least just forwards.


Footnote: There appeared to be a great deal of interest in my dying swan act. Sadly I could not find my tutu, and was therefore unable to perform. This is likely a fortuitous thing, as I suspect any clip I added may find itself on You Tube or similar, under the category of either comedic, or weirdo. Neither would be acceptable.

Another Footnote: For interest, here is a photo of Seb "threatening" his Loofah Dog (name on tag, not me being cutesy and weird) by dangling him at great height through stair bannisters. I have no idea what Loofah Dog did to deserve this treatment but I guess it must have been bad.