I recently heard a quote on the TV show Heroes, and the following day read a strangely similar opening paragraph in the book I just started reading. Either the quote has origins elsewhere, or a writer for Heroes is also following Richard and Judy's book club. Either way, I thought it was an interesting quote and having come across it twice now, thought I would share it with you.
"I think there comes a time in a man's life where he has to ask himself whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning. You can't have both because those are two very different paths. To be truly happy, a man must live absolutely in the present, and with no thought of what's gone before, and no thought of what lies ahead. But, a life of meaning, a man is condemned to wallow in the past, and obsess about the future."
On Heroes it sounded powerful, knowledgeable; a truth spoken from the heart. In the book it sounded clever, thoughtful; an intelligent observation. Looking at it now, to me, its a piece of nonsense, only believable by the conviction with which its written and the quotation marks it falls between. I'm not sure why "quotations" can appear as if fact, as if spoken by one who is truly enlightened and thereby becoming mini rules by which we should lead our lives. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy those little books with quotes of happiness, of success, and profound yet concise snippets of wisdom. They can make you feel instantly lifted and inspired, and hence their purpose is served. However this quote differs in that it doesn't really make me feel lifted or inspired, largely because it talks of a no win situation where happiness is a lifestyle choice only fulfilled by self indulgence and at the expense of a purposeful life.
Happiness itself is at the centre of many quotes, especially those of a motivational nature. It is something people strive for in life, as if it were a mystical paradise we arrive at when all our goals have been attained and our dreams fulfilled. I'm not sure why we do this, why we put so much kudos on what is essentially just an emotion in the vast range that humans experience. Why should we expect to feel 'happy' all the time? I think it is impossible to truly lead a life of happiness, because we cannot exist in a state of just one emotion and be fulfilled by that. In just the same way as it would be quite unnatural to always feel sad, fearful, excited, ashamed, or angry all the time. We have to experience the full range of emotions in order to understand each one; to understand loss is to fully appreciate what we have, to understand sadness allows us to appreciate happiness, to have felt fearful allows us to relish the feeling of relaxation and contentment.
The idea that happiness comes from only living for the moment does not ring true to me. I'm not sure why forgetting about the past, and never giving a thought to the future would make you happy. Yes, it might make you feel relinquished of responsibility, it might make you feel "free" and maybe temporarily exhilarated. Ultimately however, it would leave you very alone. Living for the moment is by nature a selfish way, which could not take other people into consideration. It would be full of the highs and lows of any life, yet without the past experiences and the future dreams to tie it together. You would be simply adrift. It would merely be an existence.
So, to end my philosophical musings for today; would I choose a life of happiness of a life of meaning? I would choose a life where I learn from past mistakes and sorrows, but do not dwell on them, where I strive to attain future goals, but do not become a slave to my fears of failing them, and where I experience happiness more often than not.
Now I will re-type that in italics and put quotations marks around it, with my name at the bottom.
"I would choose a life where I learn from past mistakes and sorrows, but do not dwell on them, where I strive to attain future goals, but do not become a slave to my fears of failing them, and where I experience happiness more often than not."
Jac 2007
There you go. That can be now be printed in a little book of happiness, or quoted in a motivational speech, and presented as a mini rule for life. However when it comes to leading a fulfilling life, there are no rules, no facts and no one quote that suits all. Maybe after all is said and done, a fulfilling life is simply one where you get to play by your own rules, whatever those may be.
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9 comments:
Do you know whatI aim for in my daily life? Contendtedness. Is that even a word?! This can encompass happiness, of course, as you can be content to be happy. But it also takes in unhappiness, even sorrowfullness, or anger, or 'meaning', because, as you so rightly say, happiness is not the be all and end all. You need to experience all the above to really live a good life, and to accept them all as equally valid as they come and go. But if you can be content that you are experiencing these emotions, then you are one step further towards accepting life as it really is :)
Tough thinking for early on a Wednesday, but worth it :)
I thought it sounded like that on Heroes too!!!Are you addicted to Heroes yet?I've been watching it from the U.S ,on episode 15 and I'm very addicted.
I thought once you had put your words into italics and added a couple of quotation marks that they sounded rather good.
Fi - I think you are right. Being content is all you can really ask for. You should come up with a wee quote, although I don't think you can use the word "contendtedness" in it, mostly because it's not a word. It should be though ;-)
Nicola - Yes, I am quite addicted to Heroes :-) I only watched it because Andrew made me, but now I'm hooked. I'm glad to hear you are watching it too, and I'm not a total geek. Unless we both are, lol.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/contentedness
:P
Ah, miss smarty pants, strictly speaking you said "contendtedness" not "contentedness"
...do you think I am a little pedantic, or just someone who likes to have the last word?! Probably both.
you say contendtedness, i say contentedness......let's call the whole thing off.....Wow Jacqueline...this was a heavy session. I need to go and lie down now. My heid hurts. My own quotation would be...."Happiness is going to Starbucks and ordering a Venti Mocha with Whipped Cream, sitting in a big cumfy chair and sipping the Mocha through the whipped cream and then sticking your tongue out at everyone that passes the window." I can't see this being published.
Pedant ;)
Says me who HATES spelling errors. I apologise to us both.
I liked reading this post, but can't think of a suitable intellectual quote.
For me, contentedness is acepting all the things in my life. Or something. I think this may sort of be a throw back to a post that Fi did a while ago. Some of my friends strive for bigger houses/cars whereas I'm quite content with my scratched fiesta whilst I swan round in my green wellies.
There are some aspects of my life that I can change, some that I can't and some that I don't want to change (apart from the lucozade stain on my carpet). I'm content with that because the good stuff far outweighs the bad.
I think that is how it works for me anyway.
xx
I think that is a really interesting analysis of life Jac. I was recently reading an article by a journalist who was examining why it is that there is this "craze" nowadays for enforced positive thinking. As if to feel sad or hopeless or down sometimes is failure because we are meant to always see the positive side, the "glass being half full" to everything, the opportunity within every problem. Being sad or unhappy or hopeless sometimes is all part of life's experience, it's not failure or an inability to see things in the "right" way. People who are always optimistic or positive despite any amount of problems are lucky, not talented, in my humble opinion.
Ooh crikey, what happened there?! I seem to have gone completely off on one! I'm not sure if it was even relevant to what you wrote. I'll go back to giggling at Seb's photo in that collar I think ;o)
xxxx
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