Up The Farway Tree

Rejection - UPDATE

Well I got some great news this morning - following further lab tests it looks like I DON'T have any humoral rejection at this stage (and fingers crossed I won't develop it in future). So at the moment I am dealing with the more straight forward cellular rejection which is very common in the first year and normally responsive to the IV steroids. I finish the IV steroids tomorrow and should be allowed to go home immediately afterwards, so hopefully we can get organised early tomorrow and get on the road asap. As I am very immunosuppressed again I may not be allowed any visitors at this stage but need to speak to the doctor for more details of the do's and don'ts. I will be due another bronchoscopy in a couple of months but I think I will be back down at out patients before then. They use lung function to monitor if steroid therapy has been successful - I would normally have this rechecked before going home but as it is a weekend I won't be able to do this, and certainly am not hanging about until Monday for the privilege. It is quite possible that I could have another episode (or more) of rejection in the coming year but fingers crossed this is my first and last.

Emotionally I took a bit of a battering yesterday and really felt so worried about the implications of this uncommon rejection. There were moments when I even longed to have my old lungs back - as poor as they were, at least I understood them and knew what to expect. With the possibility of two different forms of rejection looming over me I felt so out of control as I battled with an unknown entity. The fear of what might lie ahead was overwhelming at times - as much as I try and stay positive all the time, sometimes your darkest thoughts can bubble to the surface and it's pretty damn hard to ignore them. I am also cursed with having just a little too much knowledge, and as my friend Stef pointed out - ignorance really is bliss. The last couple of months with my false call and then the real call, have been an emotional roller coaster, and yesterday I just had that awful feeling of 'it's just not fair!'. Thankfully I have moved on from my wallowing and self pity, and with the good news this morning feel more ready to get on top of this rejection and back to my crazy new life. As always, it's onwards and upwards!