Up The Farway Tree

I got a wee fright..

I haven't been blogging because I have not been very well for the past 2 weeks and am only now just turning the corner. I think I have basically had a viral sick bug but due to being immunosuppressed it hit me like a ton of bricks and I really did think something more serious was happening. Andrew had a sudden onset sick bug lasting about 24 hrs a couple of weeks ago and a couple of days after I started to feel nauseas with a fever and general unwell-ness. I crawled in from work on the Monday went straight to bed and thought a couple of days would see me right. I was wrong. By last Wednesday I was feeling worse than ever and mum was dispatched to come and look after me - she only went home yesterday (although I did give her weekend leave haha). I ended up getting some tests at hospital last weekend because in case the persisting fever was a sign of something dodgy with my lungs. They were satisfied my lungs were ok so escaped home only to have to go back again on Tuesday as I was no better. Again it was a confusing picture because I still had a persistent low grade fever, felt sick but there was no evidence of bacterial infection and lungs seemed ok - so had to assume I was just struggling to fight off a viral infection. On top of this my bowel appeared to be obstructing (probably due to dehydration on top of painkillers for sinuses) so had to get some treatment for that which is bad enough when you feel well! The one thing I have discovered is that I am physically unable to actually be sick due to the fundoplication surgery I had last year (it tightens the valve at bottom of gullet to stop acid coming up). I had always assumed that if I really really needed to be sick I could - but I can't. This is not pleasant at all - although the positive side is that I keep my anti-rejections down because otherwise I would need admission for IV anti rejections. Every cloud and all that.

Yesterday was the first day I noticed any sign of improvement and actually got dressed and didn't spend the whole day lying in bed/on the sofa. I just feel pretty washed out now but hopefully this is me on the up now and the weekend may bring a big improvement. I spoke to the transplant team a couple of times and they said they have had lots of patients with the same symptoms and it is taking ages to clear up. I was reassured to hear this as your mind does start to wander along the path of all the weird and wonderful post transplant complications I could encounter. In the last couple of weeks I was really scared at times - I cried a lot - in retrospect that seems a bit over the top for a viral illness, but the point was that I didn't know this for sure. Pre transplant I knew my body so well and although I was often very unwell it was predictable. I knew when I needed antibiotics, when I needed hospital and how long to expect recovery to take. I knew my health inside out. Now I feel like I am always dealing with the unknown and it can be so unsettling. It is the fear that I am somehow always living on borrowed time and with baited breath you just pray the bubble is never going to burst.

Ironically I had also been about to blog that I had reached 1 year being back to work on the 17th February with NO time off sick! Not quite the case now having been off for 2 weeks - but still a year without time off was pretty good going and perhaps I can do the same again. Ideally another week off would be nice but if I can get back after the weekend then I will. My job before transplant was supernumerary so the work would be picked up if I was off - but this time it wont. I have cancelled 3 clinics so far which I need to reschedule and given that I was already booked well into April/May it might be tricky. If I go back I do promise to pace myself though and not take on anything I don't need to at the moment. At least my job is not a physical one so I do get to sit all day :-)

I just need to get myself better and strong for the big holiday now! I ended up having to pay nearer £2000 for the travel insurance because the policy had an error in the medical screening so original quote was wrong. If I get admitted to hospital I will invalidate the policy and can kiss goodbye to Florida - so thank goodness they didn't take me in last week and hopefully it will be onwards and upwards now. At least I have something nice to focus on and I really do feel I need a holiday - it's only 4 weeks away now :-)

I will update again soon with how the recovery is going and I am sure it will be all good news ...