Up The Farway Tree

Kirsty

I still quite can't believe that my dear friend Kirsty has gone.  She passed away on 26th May at age 34 - although I knew she was very unwell, she had been there before and always pulled through.  She seemed invincible.  We used to have morbid discussions about who got to die first, who was the most unwell at any one time and who could outdo the other in their medical dramas  - the kind of humour that comes from a lifetime of being acutely aware that our time here is fragile and all too short.  Also the type of humour that made Kirsty the headstrong, vivacious, fearless and bloody minded woman that she was. 

I knew Kirsty originally through the old CF forums, as we were never allowed to mix in real life due to cross infection.  She was well known in the CF community and part of a group of Glasgow CFers who were all around the same age.  Sadly most of them are no longer here  - Anders, Victoria and Kirsty's dearest friend Nicola, to name but a few.    I remember seeing Kirsty at clinic one day sitting across the waiting room from me.   She was wearing knee high red boots and I remember thinking 'wow, I wish I had the guts to wear those to clinic!'

We were able to actually meet after our transplants - Kirsty having hers the year after mine.  We came together to help Victoria organise the Masquerade Ball, and there formed a fundraising trio not to be reckoned with.   It was when I really got to know Kirsty that I saw behind the dark humour, stunning makeup, outrageous clothes, tattoos, many wigs... and I saw one of the most generous and kind people I have ever known.  She was scatty, always late, head in the clouds half the time, but if you really needed her, she was there.

That first ball was amazing success and one of the most memorable moments was Kirsty singing the song "Hero" and dedicating it to her donor.  She had to steal the show of course!!  You can see her singing it on YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD9w8OpWWEg&feature=share
There followed a whirl of running organ donor desks, attending advocate weekends in London, speaking at schools, organising another charity ball, halloween night, swap shop and so on.   A friendship forged through the shared experience of CF, transplant and wanting to live life to the full.

I remember one of the first Live Life Give Life advocate weekends.  I was sharing a room with Kirsty and Victoria and they were both set for a night on the town. We were in a pretty rough area and ended up at a dodgy club where a fight broke out (Kirsty totally unaware of course).  My overwhelming memory of that night is that fact that in each photo my blusher got darker and darker...because every 2 mins Kirsty kept getting here blusher out and "topping" me up  because it wasn't drag queen enough for her liking!   I also remember having to stop at a shop on the way back to the hotel because she needed to buy sweeties.  Kirsty was well known for her love of sweeties....diabetes or not!  She could inhale entire bags of haribo with ease.

All who knew her will know about her unique fashion style :-)  I remember she came round to my house to give mum a spray tan for her holidays.  She came straight from her work (mac at the time) and was wearing cat ears - because it was a cat ears kind of day.   She would brighten up the transplant clinic teams day with her outfits and her shoes were something to behold...you never really knew what she would turn up wearing.

Our fundraising came to a halt as Victoria became more unwell, and sadly died last January.  At the same time I became a mummy and Kirsty had become a humanist celebrant, which tied up her weekends.  She loved this job so much and I am sure brought so much happiness to many on their special day.   Kirsty's own special day was a big surprise.   She had invited her family and friends to a local pub for a casual meal to celebrate her engagement.  However, it was in fact her wedding!!!  She didn't want people making a fuss and feeling they had to buy presents, so just sprung it on us!  She wore a short white dress with tartan ruffle at the back and her high top white trainers :-)  She looked stunning as ever and changed her Miss Geddes necklace to a Mrs Harvey one after the ceremony.   I am so glad she had her Dougie -  who saw her through her decline in health towards transplant (piggy backing her everywhere as she wouldn't use a wheelchair), through her life saving surgery, the loss of her best friend Nicola,  and of course with her through the complications in recent times.   I am so glad they got to travel far and wide together, have their fur babies and, honestly, to do more in one short life time than most people ever manage. 

When I was diagnosed with chronic rejection last year, Kirsty was one of the first people I told -because I knew she would just get it.  She phoned immediately and offered reassurance.... but also told me she had just conducted a wedding in the morning and admitted to hospital in the afternoon with sepsis so had outdone me again!  She was strangely proud of this skill..

I was glad that Kirsty was able to get to know Estelle and she loved hearing the funny stories.  Kirsty gave me a family photoshoot as a gift for Estelle's arrival - I had to laugh that she had made sure they accepted pets as well, so that Seb could be in the photo too :-)  Estelle was mesmerised by Kirsty - after we visited Kirsty in hospital a few weeks ago, she came home and asked if I could draw a hello kitty on her neck like Kirsty's tattoo!  She had to settle for a glitter mermaid tattoo at a party, which Kirsty thoroughly approved of.  Estelle also now has the giant fluffy talking unicorn Kirsty brought me one Christmas "I've got your present but I didn't have wrapping paper so it's in a black bin bag!"    For my birthday last year she got me and Estelle matching panda purses - mine is used to store all my daily medicines I need when out and about, so there is always a little reminder of her.    Estelle was with me when I most recently saw Kirsty and little did I know it would be for the last time.   I could see how unwell she was but she was still fighting and determined to get through (and trying to get back on to the liver transplant list, as she also urgently needed a new liver).  My parting words to her were to "stop trying to be more dramatic than me and get fatter!"  Kirsty would not have wanted anything else.  She did not do schmaltz.  She hated being called inspirational, or courageous.  She was dealt difficult cards and she coped the best way she knew how - by steam rolling ahead and not letting anything keep her down.

I find at every turn something reminds me of Kirsty -  she loved Alice in wonderland, flamingos, unicorns, Hello Kitty, sugar skulls, sweeties, dragonflies, tartan, tattoos, makeup, wigs, parties, retro, dancing, music......I think you can simply say that she loved LIFE.   More than that though she loved her parents Sandy and Annette, her sisters Julie and Tracey, her nieces and nephews and her husband Dougie.   Although her dogs might have ranked higher than all of the above! 

Kirsty truly lived a life worth living.